Men's Fraternity Atlanta

Never Surrender

“Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.”
Murphy’s Laws of Combat

Men:
The MFA battlefield came alive last Saturday with the sound of chain saws and an amazing tree grinder, courtesy of Gerald Phillips and Team 22. (I don’t think I will be able to bag leaves again for the rest of my life.) Before you die, you absolutely must see a machine chew up a 12” tree that is over 30 feet long. We all applauded as the raging force of hardened steel and a 250 hp, John Deere turbo diesel engine obliterated the sweet gum tree. The Sierra Club has not yet sought an emergency injunction against our activities so for those of you who were otherwise occupied, don’t despair, many trees remain to be killed.

These days, with all the bad news about the economy and the confused state of the culture we live in, you may feel more like the tree than part of the workforce feeding the shredder. “Don’t take counsel of your fears” is an adage we should consider at times like this. For those of you who have read this far and have time to read on, let me take you back in history to a leader who decided to “take counsel of his fears.”

Lieutenant General Arthur Ernest Percival (1887 –1966) was a British Army officer and World War I combat veteran who commanded the forces of the British Commonwealth during the Battle of Malaya and the subsequent Battle of Singapore in 1942. Singapore is an island at the tip of the Malay Peninsula. Singapore lies along the narrow entry to the Straits of Malacca, which is the main shipping channel between the Indian and Pacific oceans. It is one of the most strategic shipping lanes in the world.

During the 1930’s, the British spent enormous sums to build port facilities and establish coastal guns on the island of Singapore. Winston Churchill called Singapore “the Gibraltar of the east.”

On 10 December 1941, the Far Eastern Fleet of the British Empire was virtually destroyed in a two-hour engagement east of the Malay Peninsula in which the battleship HMS Prince of Wales and the cruiser HMS Repulse were sunk in a two-hour battle with the Japanese air force operating out of Saigon. This left the Japanese free to move rapidly down the peninsula forcing the British forces under Gen. Percival to retreat to Singapore Island.

On February 8th, 1942, the Japanese, under the command of Gen. Yamashita, the “the tiger of Malaya,” attacked Singapore with just 23,000 troops. Just a week later, on February 15th, Gen. Percival surrendered unconditionally to Gen. Yamashita. The Japanese force of 23,000 took over 100,000 British, Australian and other Commonwealth soldiers prisoner. It was the largest surrender of British-led forces in history. Over 9,000 of these men would later die building the Burma-Thailand railway. The people of Singapore fared worse. The exact death toll is unknown but at least 50,000 Singaporean Chinese alone were slaughtered.

Now we will never know all that might have happened if Percival had stuck to his guns and continued to fight. Much is made of the problems he faced, lack of airpower, tanks, and water, but here is a man that clearly took counsel of his fears and was defeated by them. We do know that had he fought longer and harder there would have been a lot fewer Japanese soldiers to live to fight again and British soldiers to build railways for the Japanese Empire.

I have the opportunity to speak with many of the men at the Fraternity over the past few weeks and I am aware of the significant problems many of you are facing. The life we have and the future we face, as Robert discussed so clearly last week, do not ebb and flow on the tides of change. In fact, adversity will very often created the opportunities we could never have envisioned. Fear can defeat you even when an enemy cannot. Further, in the end, you may discover you had them outnumbered all along.

Never surrender, never quit,

Harper

For we walk by faith, not by sight.
Paul the Apostle
(2 Corinthians 5:7)

Harper Update: Change

Men:

That subject line got your attention. No, I am not going to get political at the fraternity. I stepped across that line last year when I noted that I was “OK” with water-boarding, but that was because so many of the brothers were showing up late. Oh yea, and I was roundly criticized for recommending the family classic “Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death.” Some movie reviews had deemed the movie “anti-feminist” and because I had labeled it as “the end result of male passivity,” I was called a “Neanderthal.” Who me? Further, because no candidate has taken up my burning pet issue, which is outlawing metric sized nuts and bolts, I just don’t get into politics.

While I am sort of on the subject of movies, it is a good time to republish my criterion on selecting movie clips for Friday mornings. Actually, the criterion for rejecting movies is closer to the truth. Movies will be rejected if
(1) The lead actor has appeared on Oprah;
(2) A portion of ticket sales went to protecting “animal rights;”
(3) A woman in the movie carries an AK-47;
(4) The hero of the movie speaks with a French accent;
(5) The movie has anyone beside Sean Connery as 007;
(6) The movie brought my wife to tears; and/or
(7) The movie won an award at the Cannes Film Festival.

Back to the real subject: CHANGE. As Robert Lewis has noted, when it comes to women, men have a tendency to delude themselves into thinking, “I’ve got it,” when they really don’t (or, at least, “not nearly enough).” They think they can achieve better living through self-deception. Self-deception leads to the false; the phony; the insincere; the non-authentic man.

You are supposed to be engaged with the men on your team, sharpening your understanding, learning the language of manhood and acting upon what you are learning. It is pretty easy to be a seat warming, friendly, seemingly interested HEARER. A “hearer only” is like a man with a precision made rifle who will never fire it because he doesn’t want to clean it. Authentic men are DOERS. Authentic men pull the trigger. The hearer only crowd never will. This keeps them in a state of self-deception, never able to overcome their deepest problems or achieve their greatest potential.

For those of you slackers and quitters, this would be a good week to get back on the team. Our subject is “Improving Your Sex Life” and we can expect Easter-like attendance. The video is longer than usual so we will start a little earlier.

Be there,

Harper


"For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a mirror: For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was."

The Apostle Paul

Harper Update: Dog Food

MEN:

One of my favorite movies of all times is “Gone With the Wind.” I don’t want to give away the ending for those of you in the culturally illiterate category who haven’t seen it, but things don’t end well for the southern states, particularly Georgia. One of the lead characters in the movie, Ashley Wilkes, is the son of a prosperous plantation owner who hosts five-star picnics for all the other landowners up until the war begins. After the war ends, Ashley, who is favored in the running for the “Most Passive Man Award,” waxes sadly about how he just wanted to live out his years at the plantation and would have freed the slaves after his “Pa” died. Unfortunately for Ashley and barbeques at Twelve Oaks, General Sherman was operating on a different time frame for establishing a free market for field hands.

As the plot unfolds, Ashley drags himself back home from the war, forlorn and defeated, while Scarlet O’Hara, his on again off again romantic interest, is shooting a Yankee deserter, scheming to save Tara, and digging for radishes with her bare hands so she can survive. Ashley is offered a job at a bank in New York (Almost certainly with the promise of a federal bailout if the bank goes south like the plantation), but Scarlet and his wife Melanie whine and complain until he decides to stay. Scarlet is brave, resourceful and industrious while Ashley ACCEPTS PASSIVITY.

Teddy Roosevelt wrote, “When men get too comfortable and lead too luxurious lives, there is always danger lest the softness eat like an acid into their manliness...” In Roosevelt’s view, ease and comfort inevitably led to the end of a civilization because the men are “trodden under foot by some ruder people that had kept that virile fighting power...”

Now we may be entering times when being asked to pick up some dog food will take on a whole new meaning. If such times arise, remember this, PANIC IS FOR SISSIES.

When Gideon was cowering behind the winepress, shaken and fearful, God called him forth as a “mighty man of valor.” Many times our true character will only be revealed when we are tested beyond what we thought we could ever endure. Where plenty enables weakness, want brings forth strength and a view of our true manhood from a high and noble perspective.

Whatever struggles you are facing, home and work are at the core of it all. As you unlock your authentic manhood, you and your team will grow stronger, wiser and more resilient. Whatever the pressures or problems you face, stick with the program and stand with your teams.

The soup kitchen opens every Friday morning at 5:45. That gets you at least one free meal a week.

Hang tough and don’t ever quit,

Harper

Harper Update 10/9/08: Information Overload

Men:

In ancient days when communication was slow and difficult, great effort was made to ensure the information sent was precise, focused and critical to the task at hand.  I am sure everyone remembers the story of Pheidippides.  He is the guy who ran the first marathon.  The historical accounts vary but Pheidippides was your basic hard core runner who, around 490 B.C., was sent to Sparta by the Athenians to tell them to get their phalanxes in gear and come help them against the Persians who were demanding very low rates at the beaches at Marathon.  As the story goes, the Spartans couldn’t make it for a few days because of some religious observance.  (Most historians think it was a mega potluck supper with special prizes for the best cobbler.)  Anyway, poor Pheidippides runs back and forth and eventually ends his last lap blurting out the very important and timely news that the Athenians had wacked the Persians and the Spartans could finish dessert.   

These days we face “information overload” which basically means too much information, too often.  An example of this is when you are traveling.  Thanks (or no thanks) to the internet and cell phones, you can keep up with every excruciating detail of life back home, often in real time.  “Hold on while I get the door;” “the other phone is ringing, let me grab it.”  “The air conditioner guy can’t come until Tuesday.”  “Do you want me to open this letter from the IRS?”  Imagine there were no phones, no pools, no pets, you ain’t got no cigarettes, . . . (Sorry, my apologies to King of the Road Roger Miller.)  I mean no cell phone, no Internet, no text messaging.  In the old days if you were away, you were gone.  Whoever was left behind just had to handle it. Nowadays we hear about all the problems regardless of whether or not we can do anything about them.   As most men are problem solvers, this information smorgasbord will invariably cause conflict when you find yourself unable to do anything about what needs to be done.  “Our daughter just drove off with that bearded guy who wears a nose ring.”

Resuming our historical perspective, consider life in 18th century America.  You could get mail back then, but it took about three months for a letter to arrive.  “Dear Pa, the house burned down and mamma and the other children were taken captive by the Indians.”  Precise, focused, and critical.  You knew you no longer had to fool with having gifts for all the kids when you got home.

At The Fraternity, we are learning exactly that kind of information; timeless principles which can be applied to circumstances and situations both at work and at home; precise, focused and critical information that will enlighten you, guide you and promote you.

Your part is to come, listen, and participate.  Sit before you stand, stand before you walk, . . . you know the rest.  The benefits are abundant, the rewards last forever.  Hopefully none of us will have to die like old Pheidippides to get you the message. 

Die to live,

Harper

Oh, yeh, Pheidippides dropped dead after the final run.  You won’t. 

Winning at Work & Home Week #2

Well, I now know what I didn't know about women! Honestly I believe this is the kind of discussion that you instinctively know is going to reveal things that you know but are afraid to acknowledge. Why? Because to acknowledge them means that we have to die a little. And I don't like that. Neither do you. I'm thinking about a quiet restaurant to take my wife and go over the application project. If you see us out at your favorite restaurant this week, do not come over to speak. I'm trying to earn a point!
Die to live,
Joe Lud